For so long, I lived my life trying to prove myself. I didn’t even realize how much of my energy and worth was wrapped up in wanting others to see me, to love me, and to value me. It’s something I only started to understand when I went to therapy. One of the biggest revelations I had was just how much I cared about what other people thought of me. I let their opinions define me.
Looking back, it’s clear this came from my childhood. I was bullied and rejected when I was young, and that shaped how I saw myself. I remember having a best friend in primary school—at least I thought we were best friends. Then another girl arrived at school, and everything changed. My best friend started spending time with her, and before I knew it, I was completely left out. Not only did I lose my friend, but the two of them started making fun of me. They’d laugh at my big head, my ears, my chin—they made me feel like I was a joke.
That rejection cut deep. I was no longer good enough as a friend, and now I wasn’t even good enough as a person. From then on, I felt like I had to prove myself, to show people that I was worthy of their friendship. I became a people-pleaser. I tried to be agreeable, avoided conflict, and sacrificed myself in the process. I kept quiet even when I was hurt because I was terrified of losing the people I cared about.
I spent years chasing approval. I wanted people to think I was smart, that I was valuable, that I was someone worth keeping around. But no matter how much I tried, I kept getting hurt. The friends I worked so hard to keep still left. The people I bent over backward to please still didn’t see my worth. I was exhausted.
That’s when God stepped in and gently opened my eyes. I realized I had been toiling in vain. My desperate need for validation from others was misplaced. Why was I so concerned about the opinions of other flawed, sinful human beings like myself when the only opinion that truly matters is God’s? He is the one who created me, loves me, and calls me His own.
Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God made me in His image, and He doesn’t need me to prove my worth. He already sees me as valuable. Romans 5:8 reminds me of the depth of His love: “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I didn’t have to earn His love. He gave it freely, even when I was unworthy.
Chasing after people’s approval is exhausting. It’s a never-ending cycle because no matter what you do, it’s never enough. But God’s love is different. It doesn’t depend on what I do or how good I am. It’s constant, unchanging, and sufficient.
So now, I’ve decided to stop. I’m done trying to prove myself. I have nothing to prove—not my intelligence, not my worth, not my abilities. The only validation I need comes from God. He sees me, He loves me, and He accepts me just as I am. I don’t need to fight for anyone else to see my value because God already does.
Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” This verse has been a reminder to me that my life is for God, not for anyone else.
From now on, I’m choosing to rest in His love. I’m choosing to live for Him instead of striving for the approval of others. I don’t need to convince anyone of my worth because God has already called me His own. And that is more than enough.
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