I was never a person who believed in affirmations mainly because I grew up with very low self-esteem and no self-confidence so every time, I tried to affirm myself it always felt like I was feeding myself unnecessary lies, it just never worked. This continued even when I began my healing process. Regardless of how some of my friends and even the books I read rooted for affirmations, I was still not sold. I was not going to lie to myself, I wasn't going to tell myself things I don't even believe, I needed to be honest with myself if I was going to heal.
At some point though I gave in and decided to try this thing out. I downloaded some affirmations app, and I would wake up, stand in front of the mirror, and repeat some of the affirmations. At times it seemed like it was working but then the effect or result wouldn't last, that's if I even believed the affirmations in the first place. It's very hard to try and convince yourself that you are intelligent and smart when your own mind believes with all its being that you are the dumbest person to ever exist, it's not easy to tell yourself that you are the prettiest girl you know when your mind bursts into huge laughter of disapproval every time you utter such words. It's just so hard to believe in yourself when your sense of self is so broken and messed up.
These self-affirmations were just not working for me. However, as discouraged and disappointed as I was, I did not give up on affirmations entirely, instead, I decided to try them differently. I started basing my affirmations on the Bible, on my faith. I would stand in the mirror and say, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” “In Christ, I live, move, and have my being.” Instead of saying “I’m bigger than anxiety/ depression” I would say “greater is he that is within me.” I would remind myself that God is bigger than anything I was facing.
This changed my life; my affirmations became a huge part of my healing process. Basing them on my-broken-self did not work but basing them on God who is all great and powerful and loving made all the difference. I realized that as much as we love pointing ourselves to ourselves, we cannot help ourselves. We are broken, and looking to ourselves for help is ineffective. Sometimes all we need to do is to look outside ourselves to start healing. I know the world is working hard to make us believe that we can self-sustain, self-heal, and self-everything but that cannot be true. We are broken, we are a mess, and we do not have self-healing superpowers. We need help, we need intervention, and we need to look up to something outside of ourselves. Admitting that you need help and looking up to higher power for healing and strength is also a superpower.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, please contact SADAG on 011 234 4837